BOOK REVIEW: What You Left Behind by Jessica Verdi

This is a book review for What You Left Behind by Jessica Verdi. I received this ARC from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review. The scheduled publication date for this book is August 4, 2015. 

It’s all Ryden’s fault. If he hadn’t gotten Meg pregnant, she would have never stopped her chemo treatments and would still be alive. Instead, he’s failing fatherhood one dirty diaper at a time. And it’s not like he’s had time to grieve while struggling to care for their infant daughter, start his senior year, and earn the soccer scholarship he needs to go to college. The one person who makes Ryden feel like his old self is Joni. She’s fun and energetic—and doesn’t know he has a baby. But the more time they spend together, the harder it becomes to keep his two worlds separate. Finding one of Meg’s journals only stirs up old emotions, and Ryden’s convinced Meg left other notebooks for him to find, some message to help his new life make sense. But how is he going to have a future if he can’t let go of the past? 

Okay guys, this was probably the most realistic YA I have read in a long time! And it's told from the POV of a male. How often does that happen? And the fact that it is about teen pregnancy told from the POV of a male . . . that is even better. When I started reading this, I am not entirely sure I was going to like it. Something about the writing style just felt off. Then I realized it was because I am just not used to being inside a guy's head. There were times during this book where I alternated between wanting to strangle Ryden and wanting to hug him. Not only is he dealing with being a single father a seventeen, but he also must deal with the grief and guilt he feels over Meg's death. Ryden was in a bit of denial about being a dad. He was so scared about being a bad father that he ended up not being much of a dad at all. He made a lot of questionable decisions and he really didn't try to bond with his daughter very much. He still did the basic childcare stuff, but he would foist her off on someone else whenever he could.

And one other thing that was realistic: the mother-son dynamic. It was so refreshing to see a parental figure in YA fiction that was actually there. Most of them are absent or downright neglectful. Ryden's mom helped care for Hope when Ryden was at work. I thought she struck a great balance between helping Ryden and actually doing everything for him. She didn't try to take over with Hope and she kept reminding Ryden that he was the father and he had to make the big decisions about daycare. She also tried to have several talks with him about facing the realities of fatherhood. Ryden was just intent on making sure nothing changed and his mom was really trying to get him to accept things. His mom also got pregnant with Ryden while in high school so she had some experience with being a single parent. 

The description of this book indicates that it is mainly about the romance between Ryden and Joni. It wasn't. Yes, the romance aspect was a part of it. But the biggest part of the book was Ryden coming to terms with Meg's decision to keep the baby, as well as coming to terms with life as a young father. I was honestly kind of apathetic towards Joni at first, but I warmed up to her. I won't giveaway much, but I will say that Ryden starts his relationship with Joni on a lie and that bugged me. I also kind of hated the subplot of Ryden searching for his biological father. I never got that. This guy runs out on Ryden's mom when she gets pregnant, but somehow Ryden thinks that meeting this guy will provide some insight into being a father. That part of the story never made sense to me. 

Buy/Borrow/Skip: This one is worth reading. Definitely buy.