But is there such a thing as too relatable?
I have noticed that if a character is too much like me, I can find it annoying. Especially when some of these character traits are flawed ones (sorry to spoil the fun but no, I am not perfect).
I recently read a book where the girl constantly complained about her weight. It was mostly to herself, but it was still so annoying. The funny part is that I do that ALL THE TIME. Sometimes, I complain aloud to my husband but mostly it's this constant inner monologue that I have with myself. And yet, with faced with a character who does the exact same thing, I didn't empathize with her. I should have, I know. But it just annoyed me.
I should have adored this character.
She had issues with her weight, she hated her body, she was socially awkward and lonely . . . that was basically ME in high school. And yet, I found myself annoyed by her for the first half of the book.
P.S. I did end up enjoying the book, despite this character flaw.
I'll admit that most of the time, if I get annoyed by a character that is too much like me, it has to do with weight. I can relate to characters who are socially awkward or nerds or whatever and they don't annoy me. But this one did.
It made me think that maybe having a character that you can relate to isn't necessarily a good thing, at least when it comes to things we hate about ourselves. Maybe that's the bigger issue: I know that constantly complaining about my weight (even just to myself) is something I need to work on, so the last thing I need is to read about characters who do the exact same thing. I have no patience to read about a character going through something that hits way too close to home. And maybe I just expect more from fictional characters than I do of myself.
Do you think a character can be too relatable? Have you ever found a character really annoying, despite the fact that you are just like them?
There are times, for me, it can be about anything but, I don't want my entertainment -- books or movies -- to reflect reality. These are the times, I just want to escape reality. So yeah, excellent and thoughtful post.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Verushka. You are right about that. I guess I just don't want to read about too many books with main characters like me. It can be annoying.
DeleteI never really thought about a character being too relatable, but it is definitely hard to read about a character who shares your own flaws. I hear you there! For me, it's things like being super controlling or having a temper (especially with kids). I have a hard time seeing myself reflected in characters, but it does sometimes make me a bit sympathetic when others wouldn't be. For example, I love Cath from Fangirl and Eadlyn from The Heir/The Crown when I know others cannot stand them because of their flaws.
ReplyDeleteKate, I completely understand that. There are times when I like a character with flaws EVEN MORE and the more flawed, the better. I guess it's just when those flaws are mine too that I find myself having less sympathy?
DeleteHonestly I never thought about this but could explain why some characters bother me. They are probably reflecting things I don't care for in myself. Still I usually root for those characters as well. Great post!!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Grace!
DeleteOh I have actually been thinking about this! Because a commenter on my blog mentioned that she always stopped reading if a character was too similar to her and I was all ... that is very curious! It made me think for sure! I honestly can't say I've read a book where the character was so relatable they were insufferable? OH WAIT. NO. KIND OF. Hahaha. Okay so I was analysing a character once and figured out the reason I was clashing with them (but still liked them...it was a weird experience) was because we reacted similarly (and badly) to a certain situation. But it actually made me like the character more when I figured that out?
ReplyDeleteBut otherwise I suppose it doesn't bother me because I'm practically perfect in every way. *flips hair*
(I'M JOKING.😂😂)
Hahahaha Cait, of course you are perfect! Ba. ;) I wish I knew just why characters that share my flaws were so much more annoying. I usually love a character with flaws. Maybe it's because this particular flaw is one I am trying to work on? You would think seeing that reflected in a book would make me want to change even more. Yeah, I wish.
DeleteI've never actually thought of this! I know for a fact that I am much harder on the main characters, so much that when they are actually like me, I end up criticizing them as well. Though then again I think there are times where I'm happy a character is so much like me. But mostly it's due to their interests (video games, the brain, etc.) rather than their personality!
ReplyDeleteValerie, I am glad I am not the only one tougher on characters that are like me! I need to try and get more sympathy for them, I know.
DeleteI think the danger here is that a too-relatable character may come across as boring. And yes, even annoying if he/she happens to "share" some of your worst traits 😊 Brilliant post!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Ramona!
DeleteThis is a really interesting post. I wrote a discussion once about how I would have made a terrible YA heroine because I was so timid and completely incapable of expressing my feelings - especially when it came to boys. When I read a book with a character like that it usually bugs me, even though I know it's realistic. It never occurred to me that the reason I don't like this trait is because it's too close to my personality - I just thought I'd make a terrible book MC! :-)
ReplyDeleteNicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction
Haha Nicole, thetis funny. I am used to overanalyzing every single thing I do. I just wish I could make it stop! :)
DeleteI have found that characters that are similar to me are the ones that get on my nerves, isn't that so weird. I'd like to think that I like myself, so why don't I like these characters??? There is totally such a thing as a character being too relatable. Sometimes it works for me but other times it can definitely be annoying.
ReplyDeleteNereyda│ Nick & Nereyda’s Infinite Booklist
Nereyda, I know, right? Why can't I like these people?? If I don't like them, I should at least try to figure out why so I can work on myself a little. Pssh. Too much work. :)
DeleteSo, true story, I said to myself "I feel like I commented on this post... but I didn't?" and then I realized it was because I commented on the review/book in question! And I agreed then, and I agree now haha. I think it's like, no one likes when their flaws are pointed out to them, and so reading about it mirrors that- and we simply do not want. But hey, it also means we are insightful enough to recognize this things in ourselves, so that has to be a good start, right? (Sure, let's tell ourselves this!)
ReplyDeleteShannon, yeah I will tell myself that's a good start and that all make me feel better (for now). It's progress, right? Yes, that's it. :)
DeleteThis is an excellent post and an interesting perspective, although I have to admit I completely agree! I feel like these characters strike much too close to home - their flaws are ones that we are already painfully aware of in ourselves. We're all too familiar with the thought processes that can go along with these flaws, and perhaps it contributes to a predictable course of events?
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Olivia. You are so right. And if it's a flaw that hits really close to him because it's something I really want to change about myself, then it can be even more annoying to read about it.
DeleteOh good point! I definitely think there is such a thing as character being too relatable especially when it comes to characteristics of ourselves that we're not always proud of. I read about a character recently who was a control freak and workaholic and while I could relate, those things also could annoy me a bit in that characters. I guess such books suddenly show us the downsides of those characteristics more.
ReplyDeleteSo true Lola.
DeleteFor me it's not so much about the character as their situation. If I am reading a book whose main character is in a situation very similar to mine growing up, then I usually don't like it. I've been there, done that, and am glad to be beyond it. I don't want to go back.
ReplyDeleteGot My Book, that is very true sometimes as well. I guess we all want a little bit of an escape from reality when we read and we can't get that escape when we're reading about someone too much like us, right?
DeleteGreat discussion and YES, I have totally gotten annoyed/been frustrated with a character for sharing some of my less admirable traits so I totally get this
ReplyDeleteI'm so curious about this book now
Eva, the book was Nice Girls Endure. I ended up giving it four stars on Goodreads. I did end up liking the book, but I swear I spent the first quarter of the book feeling annoyed the MC. And it was 100% because she was too much like me. Insane, right?
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