What if for just one year you let desire call the shots? The project was simple: Robin Rinaldi, a successful magazine journalist, would move into a San Francisco apartment, join a dating site, and get laid. Never mind that she already owned a beautiful flat a few blocks away, that she was forty-four, or that she was married to a man she'd been in love with for eighteen years. What followed--a year of abandon, heartbreak, and unexpected revelation--is the topic of this riveting memoir, The Wild Oats Project.
So I am torn about how to rate this book. Should I rate it by how much I agree or disagree with the author's decisions? Or should I base my rating on the quality of the writing? This was a very gripping, honest and sometimes humorous look at one woman's quest for exploration. In my opinion, her decision to go on this quest was a selfish one. But I knew what I was getting into with this book. I was curious about her reasons for embarking on this journey. Her reason for wanting an open marriage: her husband got a vasectomy. Yep, that's it. Robin went into her marriage knowing her husband didn't want kids. He never kept this a secret from her. Robin was fine with this until her biological clock started ticking. She tried to talk her husband into having kids, but he wasn't having it. Her friends called him selfish; one of them even suggested she trick him into it. Finally he got the vasectomy. When he did, she said she wanted an open marriage; she said they were now independent people and if she couldn't have children, she was going to have lovers.
I don't like to judge women for their sexual habits, but honestly I failed to see what one had to do with the other. But her husband agreed to this arrangement and it's not my marriage. Despite my judgments about her decision, I was fascinated by her tale. She talked about online dating and erotic workshops. She got in touch with her sexuality in a way that I never have, and probably never will. I loved her honesty. I also admire her bravery for sharing her journey. This open marriage lasted exactly one year and in this time, Robin learned a lot about herself, her sexuality and even her marriage.
Buy/Borrow/Skip: Borrow. Even though not everyone will agree with Robin's decision, I still think it's a good one to read.
Oh goodness. Nope that would not be the book for me. I don't think I could get past the married bit. Glad you were able to enjoy bits of it!
ReplyDeleteThanks Anna! As someone who is married, that part was a little hard to swallow.
DeleteWow! I'd say "interesting", but the word is too small. It will make a compelling read, and I will, most definitely, read it. Your review makes a point of her bravery, and I think that appeals to me most of all. Because, let's face it, she WAS brave. Thanks for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteThanks Ramona! Despite what I thought about her decision, it was very compelling. That is a great word for it. I really think you would enjoy it. :)
DeleteWow! Well, I guess if her husband agreed to this - but it honestly sounds like they had some serious issues that needed to be sorted out, and I have a hard time believing this was the best way to do that. Not sure I want to read this one, but it definitely does sound interesting!
ReplyDeleteNicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction
Thanks Nicole! Interesting is a good word for it. And it was very well written.
DeleteHm, this sounds very interesting. I totally understand your mixed feelings when it comes to rating it, I'm constantly going back and forth over my ratings, like do I rate it high because I enjoyed it or low because it had a lot of flaws?
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed this but I'm definitely too immature to understand something like this, and I freely admit it.
Great review, Cynthia! =)
Thanks Shay. Yeah, I really didn't get it either. I don't get the open marriage thing for any reason really. I could not imagine agreeing to that with my husband. But since I knew what the topic was going into it, I don't think it was fair to rate it based on her decision. As much as I disagreed with her choices, she is still a great writer!
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