BOOK REVIEW: If I Fall, If I Die

This is a book review for If I Fall, If I Die by Michael Christie. I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

Will has never been outside, at least not since he can remember. And he has certainly never gotten to know anyone other than his mother, a fiercely loving yet wildly eccentric agoraphobe who drowns in panic at the thought of opening the front door. Their world is rich and loving, full of art, experiments, and music—but confined to their small house. But Will’s thirst for adventure can’t be contained. Clad in a protective helmet and unsure of how to talk to other kids, he finally ventures outside.  With the help of an artistic loner who introduces Will to the high-flying freedom of skateboarding, Will is pulled far from the confines of his closed-off world and thrust headfirst into the throes of early adulthood and the dangers that everyday life offers.    

This was an interesting book that started off really well. Will's mom Diane started feeling afraid of the Outside when Will was just a baby. The deaths of Diane's mother, her father and her twin brother all deeply affected Diane and also caused a huge amount of guilt. Diane felt she needed to protect Will from everything that could possibly happen. She makes Will wear a helmet at all times of the day. He wears a helmet and a wetsuit to change light bulbs. The only kitchen appliance she uses is the slow cooker because it makes everything so soft that the risks of choking are very small. Will takes on a parental role with his mother. He is very sensitive to her needs and her condition. He even has a name for her fear: Black Lagoon. The author did a great job of describing the Outside and what was happening to his mother from the perspective of a child. 

The book did bounce a bit between Will's POV and Diane's. Will was so enthusiastic and energetic and I loved seeing the world through his eyes. One day he actually ventures Outside. Eventually he realizes that things aren't as scary as he thought they were. He gets really mad at this mother because she made him think bad things would happen or he would die. But Will goes out, he makes friends, he starts skateboarding, he even falls down but he doesn't die. So he gets braver and braver, even while his mom is terrified of what will happen. Diane's POV was the most poignant. Her chapters told of the gradual progression of her illness: she went from not being able to drive herself to not being able to take public transportation to not leaving her yard and then to not being able to leave her house. The author describes Diane's loneliness from her illness and her fear so well.

My issue with the book was that it was longer than it needed to be. The prose was beautiful, but at some point there were just too many words. Will got involved with a mystery surrounding the disappearance of a boy Will met once, but considered a friend. The circumstances surrounding the mystery was just boring to me. There were quite a few chapters in the middle of the book where I had to force myself to keep reading. It wasn't a book I wanted to quit. I did feel satisfied with the ending though it was kind of predictable. 

My recommendation for this book is that it is worth borrowing. It is an interesting read, but I wouldn't purchase it myself.